Life Goes On

For starters: I really appreciate the comments in my last post. They were unexpected, and very kind. I find myself amazed by the kindness and great support I've had through this whole ordeal. So, thank you.

If it's not one thing, it's the another. I woke up yesterday morning feeling normal, or as normal as I have been feeling the past two weeks. By yesterday afternoon my normal turned into a case of the sniffles (this time not hormone/emotion induced). Six o'clock came around last night and I would have sworn to you that my body was trying to kill me via suffocation. I cannot breath. My nose is plugged, I'm sneezy, I'm exhausted. Can't a girl catch a break?

Other than not really breathing I have been doing OK. I don't feel as emotional. My body is less sore, I'm not as tired. I haven't really cried since the nurse called me last Wednesday with my hCG results from the 23rd. Last week my hCG continued to go down, at the last blood draw it was 1139. This is good news in terms of not having to have a D&C to get rid of everything. Tomorrow morning I'm going to go in for another blood draw just to make sure the hormones have continued to go down. I am unfortunately still experiencing (TMI) bleeding. But like I said, the soreness has gone away.

I did get a little emotional yesterday. I received a "Thinking of You" card in the mail. It was hard to open. I knew what it would say. TJ's Birthday was last week, we aren't near any holidays, so it was only logical to expect it to be a sympathy card. I didn't really read it. My heart isn't that strong yet. When TJ got home from work I told him about it, and he said that he didn't let me read the card he got from my Grandma on his Birthday (the day the m/c started). In the card she wrote, "I'm praying for the baby on the way." I'm grateful that he kept that to himself, it would have caused me to break down even more.

I still haven't really talked about it with anyone but TJ. I get nervous any time we were going to be around family who knew. When we found out I was pregnant I only told my parents and little sister; TJ told his mom, dad and brother. From there though the grandparents, and some aunts/uncles were told. We went out to his dads house to ride the quads around the trails in the woods last weekend. When we got there his dad's girlfriend just hugged me for a really long time. I'm thankful she didn't say anything. I can deal with hugging. I just don't want to verbalize anything right now.

I guess I've learned that even through pain and hard times life goes on. Most days it's good, but even on the bad days I'm just thankful to have the family I have to surround me.